There posts are from an experiment I did in 2015 that I am moving over to this blog.
A few days ago I left information out of your brains. Information I put into draft and then left drafted and unpublished. Forgive me loves.
I had a moment where I lost my camera when I really needed it for food blogging. The day before I’d angered at myself for losing my keys, but it was a rational anger I was able to calm. It felt like a step forward to be able to actually feel anger. Qualm my inner tiny rage and rationalize a solution of putting my keys on the key ring.
Causing self distress was unnecessary. I was standing up for myself through myself.
Then on the day a few days ago I lost the camera. I was so forgiving of myself that there wasn’t but a quick connection to anger. I sparked then unsparked in mere moments. Afterwards I calmly searched the house all about and did not find it. I could feel the giggling latent anger try to laugh but then dissipate.
My body did not accept the anger. It did not accept the irrationality of looking for something in the same place over and over.
The Box of Chocolates Experiment Day Three from the mind of Krispy Kreme and McDonlad’s/ after eating only fast food for three days:
“Overall it was happy dappy cheery freery times…until I couldn’t find my keys for work. At first rational calm Ainsley searched for them and then as time kept passing it was consumption, horrible overtaking consumption where it felt like I couldn’t handle what was happening and all control was lost to the situation rather than solutions. I searched the same places over and over despite a pretty strong sane self hovering over me and saying that was silly, to look elsewhere, but I would look elsewhere and there were no keys so I stopped listening to that voice and looked in the fridge again” (Daschofsky).
I even tried to feel the anger and the trapping of connections.
I realized that’s what it is. When you get trapped in connections and flare into impossibility. Your mind tries to see a future where you have the keys but it isn’t the present. You get trapped in ideal and anger within theses trapped connections.
Caged within ourselves.
Somehow I was able to connect elsewhere. My mind was calm and said I would find it eventually.
I was even able to think of an ADHD study,
You take people diagnosed with ADHD (an issue within itself) and have them do tasks. Track if they get trapped in connections.
Have people with OCD go on a hunt for a lost item that isn’t actually in the house and watch if they get trapped in connections and feel anger. Have a variable where the item is easy to find and also watch the connections.
It is somewhere I’ll find it eventually went my mind. It connected away from the insanity.
Complete calm complete control still flowed in self love.
It did almost trigger old connections but calmed before they could even connect
P.S. If you are a first time viewer to this blog I request you begin at the beginning.