I was blissing out in bursts of thought until 2 in the morning last night.
For the average human that’s probably not a startle, but I’m one of those human animals that has a sleep cycle that I’ve stuck to most of my life. Lately, as age takes this body, it’s gotten to where I like to be asleep by eleven and wake up around 6:30. Early to bed and early to rise makes humans feel restful, bursting and lithe.
Last night though I was thinking of the restaurant I’m opening in 2017. I’m moving the plans around so much that they’re feeling real. More on that very soon.
Ideas and Brain Awakenings
The ideas kept sparking up my mind to where I was like:
‘Okay I’ll just calm down the left brain and be able to fall asleep’.
So I seep into the right side and cut out thought, getting absorbed in emotion so that the left side will stop using itself.
That would last two minutes and I was falling into unconsciousness, but then new thoughts would arise from an excitement burst of an idea.
Kombucha tasting nights or swelling thoughts of integration of the coffee shop and patio area, or if I should bring in Melissa, definitely so, and Jerry, and how I should write all of this down kept taking me out of sleep.
No mind, shhhh. Sleep and do it tomorrow.
I‘d already filled three pages and I knew if I went into it again it would make no difference, I’d be up another hour. This started at around 11 and had kept me awake mildly at first with a few thoughts I wrote down before going back to reading The Fountainhead.
I tried and failed to sleep in the hammock. I decided it must be the hammock and moved to the couch. Then I lay there in vivid awareness and realized it wasn’t the hammock. I denied it and pushed my body deeper into the couch to see if I could force it into sleepy time.
So I decided it might be from the two drinks I’d had that night (The Oaxaca old fashioned without agave is my newest smoky mouth delight). I was mind searching all over for what was keeping me up and how to tame it.
I think my mind must be hungry and eat Brussel’s sprouts, thinking the overacitivty could be from mind starving myself and it calling out for food.
I’d been using my mind all over without eating any green stuff to feed it.
Tasted fucking delicious though.
Cast iron, butter and salt.
All you need.
I read Fountainhead again and expect it to wear my mind out but an hour passes without any fading.
I get back in the hammock as cozy as can be and try again now that it’s 1:22.
Then I feel it.
I think about Abbey and memories of us at college, like I had earlier that day, and feel more tired.
Then restaurant ideas spur and I feel awake.
I think of the restaurant again and try to feel it.
It’s in my upper left forehead.
I think of memories again, of Abbey and of mom, and feel my brain relax.
I feel it near the base of my head, near the basal ganglia.
I test it over and over and feel the new thoughts keeping me awake while memories lull me into sleep.
‘My brain is sparking neurogenesis when I have new thoughts, and relaxing when I use memory’.
When we have new thoughts our brain sends out signals and captures them.
During sleep they consolidate.
I was giving it new information to consolidate and thus couldn’t sleep.
My brain even felt it.
It switched from neurogenesis in the prefrontal cortex to old memories consolidated in the body/to the basal ganglia feels.
From new thoughts to old ones.
In relying on old memories I fell asleep.