We don’t connect to our food and as such we overeat.
When our brain goes to eat it expects certain connections to the food, but instead we start to hold fear in all these little connections that burst across our whole brain.
As fear gets associated with memory it gets stored in the connections of eating. When you adapt you feel that stored fear and your brain feels that pain and doesn’t connect. It rebounds from that pain and thus that connection.
We eat faster and faster as our brain also begins to fear eating itself. You once ate a Pop Tart or chip or ice cream or toxin somewhere that your brain registered into a fear response.
The body absorbed that toxin from that burger and then created a signal for your mind from the body. The body said to fear that food and stored it in your mind to remember in case that toxin tried to come back.
That fear might also come from not knowing where the next meal will come from. That fear you get from being poor or being an animal lost in the wild with no food around and no known way of getting it can really get locked in your body’s memory.
Well we get hungry and our brain has a fear of that meal and that fear comes right back up because that memory is so vivid. That memory is also vivid because it is coated in red and yellow. Such vivid colors to really make it store. Well we see it while thinking of food and eventually our minds associate it with eating and so we go to it. Your brain does accept some of the food but also gets confused over high fat and high carb…and that’s where I stop knowing what our brains do.
Whew fuck. That was a lot of energy to expel all of those thoughts out. So much focus into how it feels that I actually can feel my mind coming out and stretching.
I was just held in fear when I was cooking and yet couldn’t help but go try and eat. I’ve been realizing when it is fear and compulsive eating and when I’m actually hungry. The fear and compulsive eating has been taking over more and more lately and I get scared I’m going to get fat. I do now realize that fear was actually a manifested thought from the pain I was rebounding from.
When eating the goat cheese stored in the lowest fridge drawer, thus I was on my knees eating it from the ground, I really gripped onto that desire to eat it and felt that fear. I latched on so tight I heard screaming again. ‘I’M SORRY I’m SORry!’ screamed a much younger and terrified me. I suddenly felt like crying and putting the goat cheese back. I tried to eat it again through my childhood tears but I leapt away as the paint came back up . Then I tried to attach again to cleanse it, but with a blankie and klondike bar. ‘It’s okay’. No! No! Terror fills my eyes and I’m screaming within the age of 5. No! I won’t do it again.! I’m holding a jar of ice cream or…something. It seemed like a memory of food and being scared because I did something wrong and someone had found out. I was really scared though so I was lying about it. That pain was so deep and it is so attached to whatever has been making me compulsively eat.
After releasing that pain I no longer felt that desire to eat. I saw the butter in my hands and realized we don’t connect to food anymore. We rebound from the pain of eating, and maybe that’s part of the problem. We have to slow down and then we can feel that fear and connect to it. I close my eyes and actually connect to the butter in my mouth this time. I let it melt slowly and I taste such deep morsels of flavor that I just become one with pleasure and butter. It has warm rich notes that accompany it’s melting cream as it spreads across the tongue and leaks from the roof of your mouth down into the folds of your cheeks and over all of your mouth. I connected to every single second of that butter inside me and I realized that’s what my body has been yearning for all this time. I felt fear enter and leave and cascade away from me as I cleansed my hunger demon.
I realized that the blueprints may have been trying to push into me but that I had been able to go to the right while eating and just be one with the food. There was no thought of left sided capturing.
Maybe that’s how we cure these hunger demons inside of us. We just slow down and right side connect until we immerse into the connection of food.
Also. What makes food ‘natural’ to any other creature? You know, us not eating past our mother’s breast because it’s the only thing that is ‘natural’ is such warped thinking. I know because I thought that, not but forty seconds ago until I had this upcoming realization.
To every other creature eating gets to be called ‘natural’, but what makes it natural outside of that? If cows ate twigs and they had been all of their existence we would call it natural. They eat grass and so we call it natural to them because that is just what they naturally go for and eat.
So we give creatures the word natural based on it being whatever they do, because we assume they’ve done it forever.
Well humans get stuck with this unnatural word because we just so happen to keep changing our diets. If we all ate the same way and never changed it would still be natural.
We became aware of each other and then started moving earth around. Things actually became unnatural because we tried to force other species and plants to adapt to our environments and move like we do, but not everything could and also we moved a lot around to the point that places lost too much.
We basically took away the resources a place needed to keep living and growing and moved them to places where they didn’t live and they didn’t grow.
Also humans are totally badasses for being able to adapt to so many foods. Natural became unnatural almost because of how much we can adapt to. We’re kind of beasts. I mean just come on. Go look at yourself 😉