Deeply Recommended Books:

If I can ask one thing of you it is to read the intro to these books. Primarily Grain Brain and secondarily The Big Fat Surprise.

Grain Brain:

Escape from denial with the facts of a doctor that researches, has years of patients, and brought me out of personal denial of what was fricking my brain.



Excerpts from Grain Brain:

“Your brain…

weighs three pounds and has one hundred thousand miles of blood vessels.

contains more connections than there are stars in the Milky Way.

is the fattest organ in your body, could be suffering this very minute without your having a clue.”

“There are plenty of perpetual myths about the basket of brain-degenerating maladies that includes Alzheimer’s: It’s in the genes, it’s inevitable with age, and it’s a given if you live into your eighties and beyond. Not so fast. I’m here to tell you that the fate of your brain is not in your genes. It’s not inevitable. And if you’re someone who suffers from another type of brain disorder, such as chronic headaches, depression, epilepsy, or extreme moodiness, the culprit may not be encoded in your DNA. It’s in the food you eat. Yes, you read that right: Brain dysfunction starts in your daily bread, and I’m going to prove it.”

I used to have headaches every other day. Intense ones to where my mind couldn’t breathe without pain. I used to forget moments as they were happening. It was a joke that I would get Alzheimer’s and one that I feared with each laugh. Each year it felt more real, but alas we are all doomed to forget. I felt stuck to a brain that couldn’t remember, a brain that was suicidal, a brain that got angry at learning, because it couldn’t, and a mind that felt anxiety from being around other humans.

It felt like I had been that way forever, and simply would be forever. Now I remember every moment, and can feel my brain connect to the past and even the present. I love being around other humans, that fear is gone. I had to cleanse it all out though. One day there will be a book dedicated to such a thing. I’m still figuring it out.



The Big Fat Surprise:


To believe fats won’t kill you. In fact, fats are delicious and meant to be inside us. The low fat movement has failed, has led to diabetes and a mental disorder epidemic, and led to people becoming obese and thinking it was their fault for not ‘having enough control’. This book reveals research on the low fat movement, the companies that led it, and why.


Excerpt from The Big Fat Surprise

“In 1906, Vilhjalmur Stefansson, the son of Icelandic immigrants to America and a Harvard-trained anthropologist, chose to live with the Inuit in the Canadian Arctic. He was the first white man these Mackenzie River Inuit had ever seen, and they taught him how to hunt and fish. Stefansson made a point of living exactly like his hosts, which included eating almost exclusively meat and fish for an entire year…Observers estimated that some 80 to 90 percent of the calories in their diet came from fat. It was clear to Stefansson that fat was the most favored and precious food to all the Inuit whom he observed. The fat deposits behind the caribou eye and along the jaw were the most prized, followed by the rest of the head, the heart, the kidney and the shoulder. The leaner parts, including the tenderloin, were fed to the dogs.”

My Books

I have not yet published a cookbook but have published books about both my existence and my view of reality. The first one is actually written from my youthful years of about fourteen until nineteen. I wanted to get out the thoughts that made me feel alone, so that others who felt alone no longer had to.


Animal Cover


My first thought was creating a word. The words around me weren’t communicating what I wanted. Fliffen, foofer wobblen made far more sense. Since then the blissfuck chaos of my mind has been creating communication and seeking to break norms and help people be aware and mostly to say the things people are thinking but feel alone in because they aren’t in the world. Now they can be.

Unedited Therapy:

Unedited Therapy


We so often fear therapy and what all it entails. I want to blisschaos out my experience in those dwellings of my mind. Here is the caverns of my mind exposed and without edits. Do enjoy my fellow humans.

The Box of Chocolates Experiment:

The Reason I Created This Blog:

Box Cover J


The Box of Chocolates Experiment 104 pound Portlandia hippie sets out to self discover if there’s a link between suicide and what we eat. Greetings, my name is Ainsley and ever since smallhood I’ve been into eating the right things with little swaying needed. Of course, as I got older, what the right thing even was became obscure. Fast food is bad cross spectrum but otherwise the human species can not agree what to eat. I’m starting at fast food and working across to see what we should take and what can make us mad.