I’ve already made an heirloom marinara, can free, but I recently wondered if ketchup was possible too. If it just involved the same concept of simmering out the water then of course it was possible. Ketchup is like marinara but you replace the water with vinegar.Continue reading “Slow Cooker Pumpkin Spice Ketchup : Paleo and Low Carb”
Adventurous Ainsley decided to randomly buy oxtail when at the farmer’s market. At this point the Internet is able to tell us how to cook any spontaneous decisions. My grandmother passed and my mother doesn’t cook so the Internet is my food nonny/mother chef. Father cooks really well, but I’m six hours from him and his specialties involve potatoes and tortilla chips which are both off this mouth menu.
I mouth rave over the Internet’s value of having recipes for any diet.
We have cooking classes at our fingertips in both videos and extensively beautiful blog posts. So when searching for ox tail I found this amazing man’s YouTube video:
My recipe draws a lot from his. If it were a stick figure drawing he’d have drawn everything up to the circle head. The main difference is how we wind up cooking the oxtails and that mine is a single serve. If you want a full on family size go with his marinade and then come back to me for the slow cooking and broth making.
Oxtail is one of those mouth ripping flavors you will never forget and I recommend at least trying it twenty times in your life. The flavor is reminiscent of ribs but with a rougher texture. Since the meat really needs to be marinated and cooked slowly the flavor really seeps in to every delicious moment.
Oxtail is also loaded with delicious body and mind nutrients. It is rich in electrolytes like magnesium, sodium and potassium. Oxtail also reduces inflammation which is linked to depression and anxiety.
The best reason to nom this mouthful of earthenly soaked meat is because it is delicious and really fills you up. The nutrients in it are perfect for the human body and so you feel deeply satisfied in mouth, body, and mind.
Single Serve Slow Cooker Oxtail
1 lb Oxtail (try the local butcher or farmer’s market)
1 Lemon (optional)
2 Sprigs Thyme
2 Sprigs Rosemary
1/2 Teaspoon Cloves
1/2 Teaspoon Allspice
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
1/4 Cup Avocado Oil (or safe olive oil)
1 Tbs Worcestershire Sauce or Coconut Aminos
1/4 Cup of Spring Onions, Chopped
1/2 of a Yellow Onion, Diced or Sliced
2 Garlic Cloves, Smashed
2 Sprigs of Thyme
Directions for Marinade:
- Place the oxtail in a large glass container or any container that can hold all of the ingredients (I’ve used a loaf pan before and covered it in foil).
- Squeeze lemon juice over the oxtail and discard or chop up the rind into some soda water with vodka.
- Add the spices to the meat and rub them in with your hands (fair warning: make sure there’s no soap left on your hands after washing or it will leave a soapy taste in your meat).
- Pour the oil over the oxtail and the the Worcestershire sauce or coconut aminos.
- Add the onions, garlic, and thyme.
- Let marinade in the fridge for about 24 hours or as long as you can.
Slow Cooking Ingredients
1 Tbs Oil
1/2 Cup Coffee or 1/4 cup Pure Cold Brew Coffee
(without any water added)
3/4 Cups Coconut Milk or Broth
Slow Cooking Directions
- Heat oil in a pan.
- Sear oxtail pieces on each side for two minutes.
- Put all of your marinade and the oxtail into a slow cooker.
- Pour in coffee or pure cold brew.
- Pour in coconut milk or broth.
- Cook on low for eight hours.
Marinade the Oxtail for 24 Hours:
Place in Slow Cooker:
Pour in Coffee and Broth or Coconut Milk
Cook on Low for Eight Hours
To Make Broth:
Once you’ve ripped all the meat from the bones go ahead and put them back in your slow cooker.
Add another sprig of thyme or two and cover with water until the bones are just covered.
Cook on low for 12 hours and then strain out the bones and freeze or store the broth.
I‘ve now had dreams of chicken nuggets spurting out the silver waste of unicorn blood.
Once you start sleeping in a hammock your dreams become as vivid as reality and so little bites of chicken, even in imagination form, caused the feeling of killing my favored horseish creature. We’ve leaped through Erasure’s voice in Always and believed in Schmendrick together. I thought my mouth was banned from chicken nuggets for life to avoid mind trauma.
This all spurred from watching Cooties, a comedy you can’t deny your mind of. This movie was so aware of its audience that it flawlessly brings out your chuckles right before soaking them in gore. Gore has always been more personally enjoyed than suspense or ear shattering music to me. The usual horror tactics work very well and I wind up jumping or…kind of…growling at the screen.
Cooties drops the common horror act and replaces Daniel Radcliffe’s horns with Elijah Wood’s hobbit gone…actually he remains pretty hobbit like. Jack McBrayer is still the gayest stereotype we’ve grown more sick of than the sickness you feel from the baby that gets bitten in this movie.
Yeah. Try to prepare for that mind trip. I’m sure Jorge Garcia will even share his shrooms with you.
Along with What We Do in the Shadows and It Follows this movie reminds you that there is more to movies than Failing Four and Jurassic Jupiter (because Jupiter lied to us about being able to rely on it too). Hopefully Cooties is still in theaters when you see this, or available on Netflix, because this movie is worthy of blisstons of praise and even kale chip encrusted recipes.
I‘m a variety human so I baked half of the chicken and fried the other half. I also coated half of the chicken in crushed up Kale chips and the other half in pork rinds. What? I’m single. Let me have pleasure.
The kale chip crackings were the most mouth soaking but pork rind fried chicken will always have its place on my fried chicken.
Ingredients for Cootie Free Chicken Nuggets:
The Breasts of 3 Chickens Cut into Two Inch Chunks
Enough Pickle Juice to Fill a Bag with 3 Chicken Breasts in it
(Quality of pickle juice matters, I go for TJ’s crunchicons and just pour out enough of the juice out to fill the bag and then put the lid back on and store it in the fridge)
1-2 Cups of Avocado Oil (or any frying oil)
4 Oz of Kale/Pork Rinds
2 Oz of Kale Shreds (I used Bombay Curry)
2 Oz Pork Skins (go for softer pork rinds and discard and super hard bits)
Prep Directions for Both the Oven and The Frying:
- Take a plastic bag or any dish that can hold things and put the chicken breasts in it.
- Fill the container with pickle juice and let it sit in the fridge overnight. Then go sleep or watch Cooties.
- Do not rinse off the pickle juice. It makes the kale chips or pork rinds stick to the chicken.
- The next day savor what you have watched and cut up the chicken into 2 inch chunks (or leave as strips).
Pan/Cast Iron Frying Directions:
- Coat your chicken chunks or strips in kale chips or pork rinds or both by pressing it deeply into them.
- Coat the bottom of a pan with enough frying oil to cover half of a chicken chunk.
- Fry each side for two minutes and remove from oil.
- Set the oven to 400 degrees.
- Let your oven reach 400 degrees (about the time of an ARAM).
- Either toss your chicken in oil now then coat with kale chips or pork rinds or both, or coat them and then put the chunks in a bowl and drizzle in oil.
- Lay the chunks on a wire rack and set over a baking pan, or over a cupcake pan because you didn’t feel like finding a baking pan.
- Bake for 4 minutes and then flip and bake for 4 more minutes.
Baked vs. Fried
(Fried on the bottom baked on the top)
For Avocado Mayo:
1/4 Cup EVOO (list of lying ones here) or Avocado Oil
1/2 Teaspoon of Salt
1/2 Teaspoon Pepper
1/2 of a Lemon’s Juice
- Process ingredients together or smash them a lot with a fork.
- Drizzle in sriracha.
Depends on what Kale chips you use but according to all but the vegans/vegetarians/calorie counters this is healthy.
There is too much zucchini growing in all of our gardens and minds right now (all of those food bloggers keep putting it in there).Continue reading “2 Ingredients Zucchini Egg Breakfast Donuts”
Mmmmm winter is finally coming, and with it must be a drink worthy of a night spent with Margaery.
The earthy spices are finally in the minds of everyone and spreading like cinnamon icing across our foods and dripping into our drinks with cinnamon laced in ginger, fennel, cloves, and even anise.
My humble human mouth is not yet a fan of anise, it tastes like licorice was steeped for twenty hours and then someone tried to turn it to wine.
It just tastes wrong and should not exist.
In my little version of reality this will not be true for long. Taste has to do with your body accepting foods as energy sources, and it simply feared anise because it was new. That was a year ago so right now it may even taste of licorice dripping out of a gorgeous chocolate hinted Merlot.
Cinnamon sweetly touching ginger and fondling cardamon, black pepper, and cloves should happen every day. Coconut milk has this mouth dripping quality of not overpowering flavors while maintaining that creamy feeling you want from a latte.
Coconut in itself lends a new flavor for lattes that compliments and strengthens the spicy nature of Chai tea.
Coconut also has its own sweetness despite being sugar free, and allows for very little need when it comes to extra sweetening. Try minimal sweetener and then increase if you feel you must, but the less sweetener the more you can taste the chai 😉
4 Oz of Fresh Water (quality matters)
1/4 Teaspoon Blue Lotus Masala Chai
(They use a powdered form which makes steeping unnecessary)
Or Make Your Own like a beast human
(You’ll surpass my beastliness since I just used the powder)
4 Oz Full Fat Coconut Milk
(Or make your own)
1/8 Tsp Coconut Sugar
(For paleo or Erythitrol for a low carb / keto version, coconut will lend a more earthy note)
- Boil the coconut milk and water together. If you made your own cocomilk and stored it in the fridge then be sure to add chunks of the cream layer that forms for maximal creaminess.
- Right when the cocomilk and water reach boiling stir in the Masla Chai or steep your own chai.
- Sweeten and let cool before consuming. My hurt tongue serves as reminder penance.
Making your own coconut milk can definitely be cheaper over time and is so simple that I do it about once a week.
Make sure to use full fat coconut milk otherwise it will taste thin.
P.S. You’re beautiful <(^_^)>
There’s a one to one ration that gives you a five minute quickie with mouth bursts of deep chocolate. Deadly darkened to only your desires with sweetness dripping from your fingers.
Coconut oil to chocolate. No melting required. Nothing needed but your hands and a combination of wet dripping oil and fluffy cocoa powder. Two on two melting together. Hard powders and oils to liquid mouthbliss. Then off to the fridge to become hard again.
You can take them back to room temperature, get your hands wet in oil, or not, and mold them all over again the moment you are wanting or lost in cravings. Then you can add raspberries, blueberries, cinnamon, snozberries, any mind desires.
I could really use some chocolate right now…or other things. Or both. A chocolate massage bar recipe is coming soonish.
So about these better than Reese’s mouthgasms. You basically take a 1 to 1 ratio of cocoa powder and coconut oil for some incredible deep chocolate. Some people can’t handle it going that deep though and need some practice. I added a half teaspoon of coconut sugar to my 1/4 cup to 1/4 cup ratio but you could also add erythitrol, go black and never come back, or even increase your sweetener.
The best part of this recipe is you can mold the cocoa and oil together and add just a bit of sweetener and increase it from there. You are in complete dominance of this chocolate. You could even take half of the batch with sweetener and the other half without sweetener and every day sample a bit of the darkness until you can go further into its depths.
The advantage of getting into deeper and deeper chocolate is you get to taste and feel the maximum amount of pleasure chocolate has to offer. Earthy sensual notes that pair well with coconut sugar’s earthy flavors very well. If you layer that pleasure with macadamia butter then you’re just going to mouthgasm all over the place. The raspberries are optional but they add a bright crunch and fruity moment. Seriously though. Put these inside you.
1/4 Cup Dark Cocoa
1/4 Cup Coconut Oil
6 T Macadamia Butter (or any nut butter…or jelly…or anything your mouth desires)
2-3 T Raspberry Pieces (chopped up frozen raspberries)
1/2 Teaspoon to Teaspoon Coconut Sugar (paleo) or erythitol (keto)
Silicone Cupcake Molds
- Mold the chocolate and oil together with your hands until they melt into chocolate.
- Mix the chocolate with raspberry pieces.
- Press the chocolate to the bottoms of your silicone molds and up the sides.
- Pour in your nut butter or mouthly desires.
- Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
- Cover the filling with chocolate.
- Refrigerate again for 30 minutes, or just eat them now.
Notes: The chocolate still stays solid at room temperature but does melt easily into your hands. It is still delicious but to keep the shape you will want to leave these in the molds or leave them in the fridge.
1. Mold the cocoa and oil together
2. Mix in the raspberries
99. Imagine the rest
Macros: Makes 6
Total Fat: 21.8g, Potassium: 59.5g, Total Carb: 4.6g, Dietary Fiber: 2.9g, Protein 1.7g
Net Carbs: 1.7 Per Cup
With Coconut Sugar
Total Carb: 5g, Net Carbs: 2.1